Donald Trump insults of, by and for the people
For the partisan, it’s a chance to see who has the best insults, Trump or his foes. For innocent bystanders, it’s an insight into the way Trump has transformed American politics.
We’ve compiled an array of the insults Donald Trump is famous for, along with the funniest barbs fired at The Donald.
This updated edition includes new insults from those who know Trump – his family, fellow conservatives and former staff.
This is a special bonus edition of our collection of the funniest political insults in history.
Famous Donald Trump putdowns
One of the most remarkable things about Donald Trump’s insults is the way he boldly goes where most politicians fear to tread.
He’s not a war hero. He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.
On John McCain
Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?
On Carly Fiorina
I’m much better looking than her. Much better. Much better. I’m a better-looking person than Kamala.
On Kamala Harris
You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.
On Fox News debate moderator Megyn Kelly. He later clarified he didn’t mean she was menstruating, he meant blood was also coming out of her nose.
See you next Tuesday.
To Roberta Kaplan. Since their next meeting was Wednesday, Kaplan was confused, until her team explained it was schoolyard code for C U Next Tuesday.
If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?
On Hillary Clinton
Pocahontas
On Elizabeth Warren and her Cherokee heritage
Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad.
To Larry King
Trump’s nickname insults
Most Donald Trump insults keep things simple. He picks a potential weak point and hammers it with a two-part nickname. You can find a longer list on Wikipedia.
Sleepy Joe
On Joe Biden
Crooked Hillary
On Hillary Clinton
Laughing Kamala
On Kamala Harris
Crazy Bernie
On Bernie Sanders
Low Energy Jeb
On Jeb Bush
Lyin’ Ted
On Ted Cruz
Sloppy Chris Christie
On Chris Christie
Failing New York Times
On the NY Times
Fake news
On the mainstream media
Literally belittling nicknames
For Trump, size matters. Which is possibly why he’s so sensitive to suggestions he has tiny hands. It’s no surprise then that he seems to feel the worst insults are those that literally belittle his foes.
Little Jeff Zucker
Little George Stephanopoulos
Little Ben Sasse
Little Marco
On Marco Rubio
Little Rocket Man
On Kim Jong-un
Donald Trump insults from the comedy professionals
Despite being so out there he almost defies satire, Trump fascinates comedians and late night hosts. Here are some of the funniest Trump insults from the world of infotainment.
A racist scarecrow stuffed with scrunched-up copies of Juggs magazine
John Oliver
This sentient circus peanut now holds the future of a major political party in his tiny, raccoon paw-sized hands.
John Oliver
Drumpf
John Oliver suggests calling Trump by his old family name
Donald Trumpkin
Jonathon Ross
A decomposing jack-o’-lantern
Jon Stewart
The guy whose eyes look like tiny versions of his mouth
Jon Stewart
Fuckface Von Clownstick
Jon Stewart
A clown made of mummified foreskin
Sarah Silverman
Donald Trump is like a fart in a spacesuit: he’s toxic, but he’s not going anywhere.
Bill Maher
Donald Trump is like a piñata: you know there’s nothing good inside, but you still want to hit him with a stick.
Conan O’Brien
He doesn’t know the difference between Medicare and Medicaid; he barely knows the difference between Melania and Ivanka.
Jimmy Kimmel
Sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine. You have more people marching against you than cancer. You talk like a sign-language gorilla who got hit in the head. In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s cock holster.
Stephen Colbert
You have a weird citrus golem as a president.
Jemaine Clement in response to American comic Paul Tompkins tweeting a picture of the NZ Electoral Commission’s Orange Guy, saying “Did you know that New Zealand has a weird citrus golem as a voting mascot?”
Donald Trump insults Donald Trump
Some of the things Trump says about himself are so bizarre, it’s like he’s trying to make himself look bad. Here are some of the classic Trump insults Trump moments.
She does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.
I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters
I don’t do things wrong. I do things right. I’m a legitimate person.
Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.
I know words. I have the best words.
Donald Trump insults from those in the know
Update: 2 March 2025
Many people have insulted Trump. Most of them don’t know him. Many just disparage him because they don’t share his political views. The new collection of Donald Trump insults below covers the people who do know him – his family, fellow conservatives and former staff.
Family
When the family of Donald Trump insults him it tends to have a ring of truth. And those closest to him do have some interesting perspectives on the man.
Uncle Donald is atomic crazy.
Fred Trump III
He has no principles.
Sister Maryanne Trump Barry
You don’t love us. You don’t even love yourself. You just love your money.
Son Donald Trump Jr.
He would try to push me over, just so he could beat his 10-year-old son.
Son Eric Trump on childhood races with his father
Donald is not simply weak. His ego is a fragile thing that must be bolstered every moment.
I have no problem calling Donald a narcissist – he meets all nine criteria as outlined in the ‘Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders’ (DSM-5) – but the label gets us only so far.
The fact is, Donald’s pathologies are so complex and his behaviors so often inexplicable that coming up with an accurate and comprehensive diagnosis would require a full battery of psychological and neurophysical tests.
Niece and psychologist Mary L. Trump
Fellow conservatives
Sharing a political stance does not guarantee unvarnished admiration, as we see from this set of Donald Trump insults from commentators and colleagues on the right.
He built a wall of lies.
Charlie Sykes
The greatest charlatan of them all.
L. Brent Bozell III
A floundering, inarticulate jumble of gnawing insecurities.
George Will
Future running mate
Before the opportunity to run as Vice President presented itself, J.D. Vance expressed some reservations about Trump.
My god what an idiot.
J.D. Vance
America’s Hitler.
J.D. Vance
Unfit for our nation’s highest office.
J.D. Vance
Former staff
Some of the most trenchant Donald Trump insults come from those who have worked with him. Many senior administration insiders have emerged from the experience expressing doubts about his character and capability.
Unfit to be president.
National Security Adviser John Bolton
Wholly unfit to be in office.
Assistant to the President Alyssa Farah Griffin
Erratic and unnerving.
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos
A threat to democracy.
Secretary of Defense Mark Esper
Fascist to the core.
Chairman of the joint chiefs of staff Mark Milley
The domestic terrorist of the 21st century.
Communications director Anthony Scaramucci
Doesn’t know the difference between the truth and a lie.
Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats
Donald’s an idiot.
Personal lawyer Michael Cohen
I am ashamed because I know what Mr. Trump is. He is a racist. He is a conman. He is a cheat.
Michael Cohen
A terrible human being.
White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney
A despicable human being.
Senate Republican majority leader Mitch McConnell
An utter disgrace.
Homeland security adviser Tom Bossert
A person that has nothing but contempt for our democratic institutions, our Constitution, and the rule of law. There is nothing more that can be said. God help us.
White House chief of staff John Kelly
